Pretty Standard

See the beauty of the night. I hear the wind blowing as if... it's over the ocean. I look up to the sky and see the stars, so many stars. I pause - I hear the crunching under my feet. I see a shooting star shoot halfway accross the sky and I think it's for me. I close my eyes to make a wish and I hope I'm not missing any more. I open my eyes and forget about the wish, because part of me thinks these wishes don't matter. I turn what feels like 180 degrees to see the big dipper from a different angle, and it spins 360 degrees. The familiar dog barking of the neighbors... I'm sure he's heard me come home. It's 130am, January 30th 2011. I still hear the wind blowing, passing it all by. I see a temporary cloud off in the sky; it'll be gone by morning. It is a beautiful night. I do not see the moon. Perhaps, it is a new moon. It is cold but I do not feel the cold. I see the glitter in the sky, and the big dipper above me, showering its sparkle...

And here I sit, perched on the edge of my pillows like a yoga block, happy. Shallow glass of wine to my right, and loving pug to my left. Feeling so inspired, I groove, no - revel, in the beauty of life. Tonight I spent a bit of time with Kim after work, then ate some ice cream. Tsk tsk, naughty Nicola. But I come home and get to dance it off and feel so lucky to be in such a happy space right now. It is said you learn the most during the hard times, but these good times are so precious too. They allow you to see why it's all so worth while, where sometimes the hard times make you question WHY? I have turned out to be fairly realistic (with bouts of extreme optimism), logical, analytical, persistant, and open minded. So with this said, I have found myself thinking of the future and all the sadness, heartache, trauma, and pain ahead of me - or us. No one gets a free happy-ride on this chance planet; we all get dealt grief and pain at one time or another. However, as daunt...

Well here I am, 61 days away from the biggest trip of my life. And here I go again, building up things larger than life so I only leave room for disappointment. Birthdays, new years, you get the picture. I digress.. I have been chatting with my cousin Ellie who has done the year abroad thing to Australia who felt the same way before she left... that this will be a life changing experience. One big difference is that she had a boyfriend when she went away. I have a dog. She also had a traveling partner. I like to think that dogs don't really have a concept of time and this makes me feel a little better about leaving. So here I sit, cross legged on the bed with Jazzy in my lap, occasionally sneezing and sniffling thanks to this darn "common cold", trying not to get too anxious or stressed. After doing some math (with numbers that are not new to me, I just never really thought about it before), I realize that I've only got about half the money I'll need while I'l...