Well, life strikes again. 11/5/13 11am - rehab coffee shop, Cairns.
This morning I opened up Pretty Standard - to see if it still works! Yes, its been that long. Oct 2011 was my last post, talking about the Thanksgiving dinner I was preparing for my friends. I was excited about what the future held, inspired, confident, and marveling at the fact I had managed to get the permanent residency ball rolling. Now, a year and a half on, I am a permanent resident, and trying to regain my former self. The last year and a half have been a roller coaster, during which I managed to lose myself and hang onto a relationship I wasn't ready to give up on, even though I knew deep down it wasn't going to work out. I'm probably the first person on this planet to do this right??? Isn't it funny how we hang onto things we know aren't good. Coles notes: I met a guy, fell in love, moved in with him, did some traveling together, then hung around while slowly the relationship became more and more toxic. In fact, it became exactly the opposite my idea of a good, healthy relationship. However, I am stubborn, hopeful, and semi-naive - hence why I put myself through a year of increasing discontent. This all came to an end this past March - I finally moved out. A week later, I found out he had been cheating on me for months with a mutual friend, someone who had been consoling me through my tough times with the guy. OUCH. I had never experienced emotions like that before. This guy was the first guy I felt I could spend my life with (in the beginning, anyway), the first guy to live with, and then subsequently the first guy to cheat on me and basically stomp out all my self worth. I've never had a good lesson on trust like this before. The lack of respect and basic human decency someone could show another after sharing so much together really threw me. In fact, I am still very FUCKING ANGRY about the whole thing, and hurt. To top it all off, I work with the prick AND the two faced slut - bringing me to lesson #2! "Don't date anyone you work with". I would extend that to, "Don't become too close of friends with anyone you work
closely with". Shit just gets so complicated. But, fortunately for me, I'm awesome, and my boss transferred the slut and the prick to other departments (partially because of what happened, and partially because they weren't doing great at their jobs), so I could work in some sort of sane environment. Fortunately, the company is quite large so I don't have to see either of them much. Just in passing, or when I need more staples. This is great, but it still really sucks and makes it really hard to drop the anger and anxiety being around them on a daily basis. Really hanging out for that "irrelevant" stage Gordon talks about.
I've recently become assistant service manager which is kinda cool - my boss will be on paternity leave very soon so I'll be the boss lady! My first service manager in Barrie, Ontario for Hyundai was a lady and I loved her! Work is going really quite well despite the obvious setbacks, so can't complain about much else there. I feel like I could be in Australia for a while, and am considering, for the first time in my life, buying a house. Exciting! I miss my pug Jasmine so so much, and may bring her back to Australia with me when I come back from a Canada visit... we shall see! But now for the biggest happy news........ I'M GETTING A BLACK PUPPY PUG IN A MONTH. My new roommates (are awesome), and are letting me get a pup! They have a dog and a cat already, so adding a little pug to the mix will be perfect! I shall name him Benny, and am going to visit him again next weekend. Pictures to come!
During the past few months, I have reached out to those nearest and dearest to me for help and advice during the rough times. I have ditched the old toxic life, and although I am still holding onto pain, anger, and resentment, it gets a little easier every day. I have been making new friends, forging a new path, and rebuilding my happiness and confidence. There have been some real solid angels around me of late, in my corner, sticking by me, helping me heal. Lisa, Liz, Annie, Lauren, Ashley, Emma. My Dad has been a great help - his wise words are always with me. We've had our differences growing up, but now I feel I am more and more like him as I grow up, and that's a good thing. I love you Dad - keep playing with those horses and motorcycles! Thank you also to my Mum for always ALWAYS being on my side, and wanting what's best for me. I can't wait for your visit in September! Michele, you are an angel, I love you - thank you for taking care of my Dad, Jasmine, the farm, and your wise words throughout the years. Rebekah, my sister/auntie/angel - you are a shining beacon of happiness and health and I love and respect everything about you. Gordon - you have probably helped me the most throughout the past 6 months. I am forever grateful for your time and patience and advice. You are a strong, wise, smart man and you are awesome!
It's a nice Saturday so far, although the weather is erratic - sun/rain/sun/rain. I'll hit up the markets to get that cute superman dog collar I saw last weekend, and perhaps have a quiet beer. I hope to keep blogging - have a great day, and remember: life sucks shit, but it's pretty fucking great too! xxxxxx
Well, life strikes again. 11/5/13 11am - rehab coffee shop, Cairns.
This morning I opened up Pretty Standard - to see if it still works! Yes, its been that long. Oct 2011 was my last post, talking about the Thanksgiving dinner I was preparing for my friends. I was excited about what the future held, inspired, confident, and marveling at the fact I had managed to get the permanent residency ball rolling. Now, a year and a half on, I am a permanent resident, and trying to regain my former self. The last year and a half have been a roller coaster, during which I managed to lose myself and hang onto a relationship I wasn't ready to give up on, even though I knew deep down it wasn't going to work out. I'm probably the first person on this planet to do this right??? Isn't it funny how we hang onto things we know aren't good. Coles notes: I met a guy, fell in love, moved in with him, did some traveling together, then hung around while slowly the relationship became more and more toxic. In fact, it became exactly the opposite my idea of a good, healthy relationship. However, I am stubborn, hopeful, and semi-naive - hence why I put myself through a year of increasing discontent. This all came to an end this past March - I finally moved out. A week later, I found out he had been cheating on me for months with a mutual friend, someone who had been consoling me through my tough times with the guy. OUCH. I had never experienced emotions like that before. This guy was the first guy I felt I could spend my life with (in the beginning, anyway), the first guy to live with, and then subsequently the first guy to cheat on me and basically stomp out all my self worth. I've never had a good lesson on trust like this before. The lack of respect and basic human decency someone could show another after sharing so much together really threw me. In fact, I am still very FUCKING ANGRY about the whole thing, and hurt. To top it all off, I work with the prick AND the two faced slut - bringing me to lesson #2! "Don't date anyone you work with". I would extend that to, "Don't become too close of friends with anyone you work closely with". Shit just gets so complicated. But, fortunately for me, I'm awesome, and my boss transferred the slut and the prick to other departments (partially because of what happened, and partially because they weren't doing great at their jobs), so I could work in some sort of sane environment. Fortunately, the company is quite large so I don't have to see either of them much. Just in passing, or when I need more staples. This is great, but it still really sucks and makes it really hard to drop the anger and anxiety being around them on a daily basis. Really hanging out for that "irrelevant" stage Gordon talks about.
I've recently become assistant service manager which is kinda cool - my boss will be on paternity leave very soon so I'll be the boss lady! My first service manager in Barrie, Ontario for Hyundai was a lady and I loved her! Work is going really quite well despite the obvious setbacks, so can't complain about much else there. I feel like I could be in Australia for a while, and am considering, for the first time in my life, buying a house. Exciting! I miss my pug Jasmine so so much, and may bring her back to Australia with me when I come back from a Canada visit... we shall see! But now for the biggest happy news........ I'M GETTING A BLACK PUPPY PUG IN A MONTH. My new roommates (are awesome), and are letting me get a pup! They have a dog and a cat already, so adding a little pug to the mix will be perfect! I shall name him Benny, and am going to visit him again next weekend. Pictures to come!
During the past few months, I have reached out to those nearest and dearest to me for help and advice during the rough times. I have ditched the old toxic life, and although I am still holding onto pain, anger, and resentment, it gets a little easier every day. I have been making new friends, forging a new path, and rebuilding my happiness and confidence. There have been some real solid angels around me of late, in my corner, sticking by me, helping me heal. Lisa, Liz, Annie, Lauren, Ashley, Emma. My Dad has been a great help - his wise words are always with me. We've had our differences growing up, but now I feel I am more and more like him as I grow up, and that's a good thing. I love you Dad - keep playing with those horses and motorcycles! Thank you also to my Mum for always ALWAYS being on my side, and wanting what's best for me. I can't wait for your visit in September! Michele, you are an angel, I love you - thank you for taking care of my Dad, Jasmine, the farm, and your wise words throughout the years. Rebekah, my sister/auntie/angel - you are a shining beacon of happiness and health and I love and respect everything about you. Gordon - you have probably helped me the most throughout the past 6 months. I am forever grateful for your time and patience and advice. You are a strong, wise, smart man and you are awesome!
It's a nice Saturday so far, although the weather is erratic - sun/rain/sun/rain. I'll hit up the markets to get that cute superman dog collar I saw last weekend, and perhaps have a quiet beer. I hope to keep blogging - have a great day, and remember: life sucks shit, but it's pretty fucking great too! xxxxxx
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