Lucky Duck

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While I didn't have a full on breakdown, a la Nicola (although we all know she is a hot mess, even at her messiest- her eye makeup probably looked even better after the cry), I did start the day by giving myself and those around me a little heart attack: work called and said, "Ummm, Jess, yeah, you should be here right now."

So I hopped out of bed, threw on scrubs, and drove like a crazy woman to the hospital. And then I had A DAY AND A HALF: everyone and their mother decided to become unresponsive and require variations of life support (C'mon people can't you see I'm recovering from my OWN heart attack here?). The worst part, truly, was that I looked and felt like someone had dragged a wino in from the street, handed them a stethescope and said "Go for it!! Keep 'em breathing!!"

I was the epitome of "Baby Duck Chic": greasy hair sticking to my face, yesterday's make up running down my sweaty brow, the sweetly foul scent of someone who bathed in mildew and body odour. Ahh yes,  I was a sight for weary eyes, I am sure. I figured (gratefully) I missed the mark on clothing, as my clothes were decidedly clean and un-crumpled. I promptly remembered, however, I was wearing the ugliest clothes ever imagined by man (laypeople call them "scrubs"). Add to this two large oil stains I managed to procure on my top before lunch (success!). AND (!!!!!) I made an inappropriate boner/tea bagging joke during an awkward silence in front of everyone at the nursing desk.

So yes, right now, all I want to do is nerd it up and read some James Herriot before I go to sleep. I was going to write a long dissertation on the evils of the industrial food machine, but even I cannot bear to see a picture of a sickly and pathetic horror-stricken cow on it's way to slaughter. No, tonight I am all about laying back and being thankful that tomorrow I get to go to work on time, fully showered, with new make-up on, and try my hardest to show my patients that indeed I am a capable, non-boner-joking nurse who is only partially a wino.

Comments

  1. BirdyNovember 17, 2009 at 6:46 AM

    MIldew and body odour... Baby Duck Chic - I like it! How about: Wino Woman - someone who rocks day old make up in times of crisis or sleeping in! :)

    I suppose there's always got to be someone who cracks the boner/tea bagging jokes in the workplace - guess you're that person Jesse! Live it up!

    ReplyDelete

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